The Newell Daycare (Inspired by Daniel Newell and his wife)
Mommy Karen: Hi misses Newell, I...see that you are disposing of some more diapers....p
Misses Newell: Yeah, I am just burning the first batch, one of the disposees is also going into this load once I bring him out.
Mommy Karen: Burning a disposee? You...mean one of the diapered trash that you diapered for disposal then compacted, then took out of there to be brought out here to...one of your....burn barrels?
Misses Newell: Yep! That's how we dispose of the diapers and the unwanted diapered ones.
Mommy Karen: Well, I have...one more for you then.
Miss Newell: Oh? You do?
Mommy Karen: Say hello to my son, Andy. We have been diapering him since he was born! He is now 20 years old, is the size of an 3 year old....and still...unable to get out of diapers! Doctors say he probably won't get out of diapers at all. So...we called a few other doctors and they suggested that we either place him into foster care, or....adopt him to someone who doesn't mind diapering him. I imediately thought of you. You have a daycare at home, you take in diapered ones that nobody wants and dispose of each unwanted diapered one.
Misses Newell: Yes, that...is what we do here.
Would....you like to see how we process each of the diapered disposees?
Mommy Karen: Sure....I think Andy should see how you will dispose of him.
Misses Newell leaves the open bag of diapers there and then guides Mommy Karen and her diapered son into the daycare though the sliding glass door and then into the kitchen where misses Newell has to add some more wet disposable diapers to the trash compactor to show Adam's adoptive mommy Karen and her son how she compacts the diapered boys and girls for disposal.
Misses Newell: (Sliding the compactor open)
Misses Newell: (Continuing) After the first cycle, I open it up again, check your diaper to see if it had any of the wetness squeezed out of it, I may add a few more diapers
then close it and run another cycle. You will stay in there until the bag gets nice and full. Then, when it gets full, I take the bag out, tie it shut then drag the bag you're in outside to the back porch where I leave it until it's your final disposal day. That may be a few days, maybe a week.
Misses Newell: Then, when I get the time to load the burn barrel, I usually do so on the weekends, I will open the bag, I begin loading diapers, then I get you out, sit you down inside the burn barrel, then pour a lot of diesel fuel all over you and the diapers. I use an old onesie or one of your old pajama tops, or a cloth diaper to wipe the diesel fuel all over you then....I add some sticks and some firewood in on top of you.....then I pour some diesel fuel on everything, light the onesie, pajama top or cloth diaper on fire, then toss it in. I then quickly close and lock the lid down so that you won't get out.
(Turning to speak to Andy's mom, Karen) We usually charge about $600 to $800 for this.....that covers all of the diapers he uses, all of the food and snacks, and the cost of diesel fuel.
Mommy Karen: Ah......ok.....well.....We have that. We can pay you now if you wish. Do....you have one of those...credit card swiper things?
Misses Newell: Yes, you mean the Square App card swiper device? Yes, I have one.....let me.....go and get it, and I will use it to take your payment. Now....you need to know that....it may take between three weeks to a month to dispose of your son. We like to let him use up as many diapers as he can before we take him out for final disposal. If you need him to be disposed of sooner, let us know and we will make the arrangements. Is there....any special diapers that he has to use or any special clothes he wears besides his onesie bodysuits and footed sleepers?
Mommy Karen: No, just that he has some favorite onesies, a pair of his favorite boat-print two-piece pajamas with lighthouses, boats and beach scenes on it and he really likes the Luvs Deluxe Phases for boys and for girls....he says they are really comfy.
We put one of his Luvs Super Baby Pants diapers on him today because I had already packed his Phases diapers.
We have been using thick diaper doublers inside his diapers because he is a super-soaker!
Misses Newell: Wow! Those...really make his diapered butt look....puffy! We normally don't use those here, but, because your son needs them, well, I will make sure he gets them. About....how many of them do you use inside his diapers at each change?
Mommy Karen: We use between two and three pads inside his diaper at each change. I will show you how to insert them. Here, open one of his Luvs diapers, (Misses Newell opens a clean Luvs diaper) Now, (Mommy Karen takes out four thick Sposie diaper doublers) OK ....put one in the ...middle first, then (putting the second pad in) Then put the second pad in.....like ...this....so that the end of the padding is even with the end of the padding of the pad. (Putting the third doubler in) Now...do the exact same thing for....the front. There.....just add baby powder and apply the diaper. Easy-Peazy.
Misses Newell: Wow! This makes the diapers very, very plump! Peeeerfect for the compactor. I LOVE nice, plump diapers.....they squish nicely!
Mommy Karen: (Turning to her son) O...K sweetie, Mommy has to leave you here with Misses Newell now. You now belong to her and her husband. They are your....I will call them your.....disposal mommy and daddy. They will be diapering you, feeding you until it is your disposal time.
Adam: Mooooomy! Please! Don't leave me!
Mommy Karen: I'm SO sorry sweetie! It....HAS to be this way! Bye-bye honey.....be a good boy for Misses Newell now.....
Mommy Karen walks back through the daycare and back to the car and leaves. Misses Newell comes over to Andy standing near the burn barrel.
Misses Newell: Hi there sweetie, ,What....nice, thick diapers you have on.....would..you like to have your diaper checked and changed?
I am going to change your diapers now when they are just a little wet or a lot wet and messy. (Walking over to the back of Andy, and inserting her index and middle fingers into the back waistband elastics and pulling it back a little before peering down inside) Not ....messy yet....(inserting her index and middle fingers into Andy's left leg elastics and pulling them back some so to see inside) Oh....nice.....and wet....yep....ready for a change. Come with me sweetie ....
Andy: Miss?
Misses Newell: Yes sweetie?
Andy: Do you throw my....onesies away when they get wet like mine is?
Misses Newell: I can let you wear it longer if you like but yes hon, I do throw your onesies away after they get wet. I like to put them into your wet diapers and toss them.
Andy: Miss? What if....I want to....save my wet diaper that I have on right now?
Misses Newell: I ..don't mind if you save your diapers. You and they are all going to go into my nice diaper compactor for disposal anyhow. The wetness in your diapers and onesies needs to be squeezed out before you and they go out to the burn barrel.
Andy: Burn.....Barrel? You mean....you....are going to....burn my....diapers, onesies and I?
Misses Newell: Yes hon....I will.
That is....what we do here.
Misses Newell takes Andy inside and through the nursery to the changing table.
Misses Newell: O...K sweetie, turn...around for me and face me....there....now UP...we go...there....now...lay back.....there....we are....good. now....since you have your....nice, thick, Huggies Overnight diaper on with booster pads inside, Do you want to wear some of your.....Luvs Deluxe Phases diapers with some of your Sposies diaper doublers inside them?
Misses Newell: Me....too....I...like how squishy they get when they are wet. They are harder to pop in the compactor but...when they.....do...OH! It's like a slimy, wet explosion of Instant Mashed potatoes!
Andy: You mean....that....you...LIKE...making our diapers pop?
Misses Newell: Yes! I...DO! It also makes your diapers easier to burn in the burn barrel. Wet diapers and wet cloth don't burn well. We sometimes have to use our....Solar Diaper Drier to dry your diapers out so that they will burn.
Misses Newell: Oh....between four and six hours......or until dry.
Andy: What happens if I wet my diaper in there?
Misses Newell: Then....you and your....diaper will stay in there until your diaper is dry enough.
Andy: After my diaper is dry enough, what happens next?
Misses Newell: After you and your....diapers come out of the diaper dryer, you and they go into our burn barrel or the BBQ.
Andy: What ...is that....stuff in those....yellow cans over there?
Misses Newell: Which? ......OH! Those? Those are full of diesel fuel. We ....use some to get your disposal started.
Andy: Are....you going to...put it on me?
Misses Newell: Yes, I will. I will give you and your diapers a good shower in it right before you are in the burn barrel.
Andy: Do you soak all....of the diapers in that?
Misses Newell: Yyyep! Oh....and in case you want to, you may choose to be thrown away sooner or at any time while you are here. All....you have to do is tell me....that you want to be thrown away now and I will take you to either the diaper pail and put you in or if your diaper is wet enough, I may decide to put you into our compactor in the kitchen.
Andy: What if my diaper isn't that wet yet?
Misses Newell: Well, then, I will give you your....final diaper check, wipe you down using as many of your wipes as I can, I will stuff your diaper with all of the wipes, pull it up, fasten the tapes, help you up and then take you to the nice compactor, open it....lay you inside, empty a bunch of your wet diapers in there, then....close it, run a few cycles then open it. I....like to check you and the diapers to see if you and they need more cycles after that. I try to run as many as possible until I see the wet gels oozing and that your diaper has popped!
Andy: Why...does my diaper need to be...popped?
Misses Newell: Because....then your diaper will dry out faster and will burn better!
Andy: Do I...have a choice of I get disposed of?
Misses Newell: No.....you don't. We are paid to dispose of you and your diapers, no matter what.
Misses Newell gets done changing Adam's diaper and before helping Andy up, she grabs his folded over wet Huggies Story-time diaper with 40 used wipes inside and his wet onesie bodysuit, wadded up inside.
Misses Newell: O...K...do you.....want to keep this or ...do you want me to throw it away?
Andy: UM....keep it please ..
Misses Newell: (Handing the diaper to Andy) Here .....time to go to your crib now for nap-time....I will change your diaper again after nap-time.
Misses Newell raises the side then walks away. Andy looks around and sees the diaper pail near the changing table and sees that it's half way full! He begins wondering if he will end up in there with his diapers. He lays down and ends up falling asleep. He tosses and turns, trying to get comfortable. The diaper he has on has become wetter and wetter as he sleeps. Without knowing it, he soaked his diaper and it leaked.
A couple of hours go by very quickly and as Adam begins to wake up, he becomes aware that he is having his diaper changed.
Andy: (groaning and stretching as he yawns) Miss? What....time is it???
Misses Newell: (Checking her iphone 11) It's......time to.....change your diaper hon. I see.....that you are a super soaker!
Misses Newell slides the side down, and takes Andy out and rhen over to the diaper changer.
Misses Newell: (Waiting for Andy to climb the steps) No....wonder your mom uses these diaper doublers. Now.....What diaper do you want to wear? Another.....Luvs Deluxe Phases diaper or maybe one of the Huggies diaper?
Misses Newell: I prefer that ...you use up these...Luvs Phases diapers
Andy: Thanks. My mom picked these....I wanted the Pampers but she said that they cost too much and that the Luvs were cheaper.
Misses Newell: Well, your mom is right. Luvs ARE cheaper. Now, I...am going to start tossing your used wipes into your new and clean diapers so that when it's time for your disposal, you will be used to it.
Andy: Are you.....going to stuff my onesie down into my clean diaper when it's time for my disposal?
Misses Newell: Oh....may...be.....we will see.
Misses Newell gets a Luvs Phases for boys diaper and opens it up. She grabs three of the thick booster pads and then inserts them into the diaper, the first two, even with the edge of the padding in front and back then the third booster pad is placed down the center. She then lifts Adam up, slides the diaper underneath him, then lays Andy down.
Misses Newell: O.....K.....now, time to....wipe you all nice and clean.....
Misses Newell opens the wipes and begins using over 20 wipes to clean Andy up. She drops each used wipe into the clean diaper padding.
Andy: Miss? The wipes....they are kind of....cold!
Misses Newell: I...bet. You will just have to get used to it. It's how things are done.
Andy: Are...you...going to...stuff my...wet diaper into my clean diaper when it's time for disposal??
Misses Newell: Most likely, yes, it will just be easier that way. Besides, you and they are going to the same place.
Andy: Miss? Does it matter that my mom bought me some of the Luvs Deluxe Phases for girls because she told me that when she went to the store, the store was out of the ones for Boys until next week, she bought 2 large packs of the ones for girls....and we have what is leftover from the other packs she bought for boys.....so....does it matter?
Misses Newell: No, it doesn't matter sweetie. All of your diapers will still end up in the same place. Besides, Pink nearly matches your skin....you would look kind of cute in pink! (Smirking)
These diapers are...cute on you.....they look comfy too! (Running both index fingers along the leg elastics) The...booster pads make your butt look poofy! Eh.....better for the....compactor I guess.
Andy: I.....am going into....a...compactor????
Misses Newell: Yes Sweetie, you are. My....husband wants you and all of your wet diapers to go in there so that...they will pop and dry out some before we take them out and put you and them into the solar Diaper Drier.
Andy: How.....long will I be in the uh.....solar diaper dryer????
Misses Newell: Until all of your diapers are nice....and dry hon. That may be four to six hours.
Andy: When will I be...disposed of?
Misses Newell: Probably in the next week or a few days from now depending on how many more disposees we will be getting. If there are a lot, then we have to make room, so then you get disposed of sooner.
Andy: What happens to what is left of my diapers and I?
Misses Newell: Either my husband or I will grind up the bones and then spread them in our garden.
Misses Newell helps Andy up and picks up his wet diaper then hands the wet, folded over diaper to Andy and then begins taking him over to his crib.
Misses Newell: Alright.....now.....let's get you....back into your crib for a bit, ok? Storytime will be soon and you can either sit in your crib and listen or you can come sit on the rug and listen.
Andy: Ok.....I may want to...stay in here....
Misses Newell: That..is fine. (Cellphone begins to ring) (Quickly sliding the side of the crib up and locking ot before grabbing her phone and answering it) Newell daycare, this is misses Newell, may I help you?
(person on the other end) Hi, I...heard that.....your daycare takes unwanted diapered people....and you....dispose of them....is this true?
Misses Newell: Yes, our government approved program allows us to dispose of unwanted clones, and dying diapered people within the law called Death-With-Dignity. Our daycare is an approved daycare to leave your....unwanted clones and unwanted diapered ones.
person on the other end: Well, I...have about 150 clones here, that.....we had made for us, that we use in our...test labs for various tasks. We....also use some of them for cosmetic testing as well. Once we are done with the clones, we...need a place to take them that will dispose of....our...let me call them....our intellectual property....for us.
Misses Newell: We...would be glad to take all of your...intellectual property for you and dispose of it.
person on the other end: Well, we need to...have a contract with your....program so that we can pay you. You....do...allow contracting?
Misses Newell: Yes.....we do. Our contract fees begin at $1,500 per item brought here, including all diapers, clothing, strollers and such. Is..this acceptable?
person on the other end: OH...yes. More than adequate. In fact, that is much cheaper than the other alternatives.
Misses Newell: We...do aim to please. Now.....will there be any items that will need immediate disposal being brought here?
person on the other end: Um, yes, come to..think about it, sometimes a test subject will have proprietary beta products all over them or be wearing a beta test product that isn't on the market yet. If the test subject gets brought there like that, yes, there will be....an imnediate disposal order on that test subject and the diapers, clean or dirty.
Misses Newell: For the...immediate disposals, there...is an added fee....another $200 which covers diesel fuel, prep time and hours worked.
person on the other end: That...is fair. No problem. I...will be sending you....6 of our....clones for disposal today.
Misses Newell: To...day? oh.....um....ok...let me.....make sure there is room.....hold on......(mutes phone mic) then goes around to look at the amount of empty cribs. Seeing only 4, she runs out to the storage and looks for the two folded up play pens and drags them out to the porch. (unmuting mic) Um....yes.....we...have room here for six. When will they be here?
person on the other end: Let's see here...um.....in...about two hours or so....after the last tests of the day.
Misses Newell: Oh....ok.....About...how often will we be getting your....clones?
person on the other end: About once a week to every other week after we are done with them. One or two clones may still be needed here or there, I do not foresee that happening too often though.
Misses Newell: Good....well, thank you for doing business with The Newell Daycare. We will expect your representative and the clones in a couple of hours or so.
person on the other end: Likewise, I can....hear that you are a...busy woman. I...will let you get back to your work.
Have a great day, bye-bye.
Misses Newell: Bye-bye. (Hangs the phone up) OK.....a quick storytime, then it will be snack time then playtime.....(speaking outloud to herself: Sheesh! I have to get the two playpens set up then move Andy over to one of the playpens!) OK.....shhhhh, storytime....everyone go sit on the story rug....with your legs crossed for me.....
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